The Turkey Can Wait— These 'Discounts' Expire At Midnight
What makes the holiday shopping season so exhausting
“You’ve unlocked early access: PJS 50% off”
“This sale only happens twice a year”
“THE INTERNET IS GOING CRAZY FOR THESE BRAS”
“Cookware that keeps selling out!”
“Hey Jennifer, save up to $1,360”
“Jennifer, does this live up to the hype?”
“Jennifer, something you love is on SALE!”
SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM MY INBOX.
Every year, the shopping frenzy that was once reserved for Black Friday edges just a little bit earlier, inundating our mailboxes, inboxes, and newsfeeds. If Black Friday once offered ‘once a year’ deals, these deals now start early in November. So far, you’ve lived through the ‘cyber week’ extravaganzas that preceded ‘Veterans’ Day Deals’ and ‘Early Black Friday.’ Of course, Black Friday and Cyber Monday are coming up— but if you’re ready to breathe a sigh of relief that the shopping frenzy is over at the end of November, you’re really just taking a momentary deep breath before Super Saturday (the last Saturday before Christmas; home of the ‘panic buys’ that nobody wants anyway), Christmas Eve, then Boxing Day— your final chance to splurge until, well, the day after that.
Of course, November is far from the only time of the year where we are assaulted by the all-important Things We Need to Consume Now. But the pre-holiday frenzy does bring this into focus, amplifying feelings of not enough and need this now rather than gratitude and enoughness.
Save Now with Promo Code “GOGOGO” (Geez, not high pressure at all)
“For a limited time only”… “This sale only happens twice a year”… “Cookware that keeps selling out!”… Each of these messages are designed to make your heart beat a little faster and your mind race.
What will I do if I miss the big sale? If everyone is wearing those bras, will my partner still love me if I don’t? In fact, how will I ever eat again if this cookware sells out?! O.M.GEE. I’M GONNA STARVE.
And this frantic marketing sells. If you’re racing the clock before the sale ends, you don’t have the mental bandwidth to seriously consider whether the latest thingamabob will add value to your life or just clutter to your closet. But before you treat the urge to buy all the things NOW as a personal failing, it helps to put it in a little bit of context: These messages, by design, touch on the primal responses that urge us to secure our spot in the community. Much like ancient hunter-gatherers, we don’t want to be booted from our tribe for wearing the ‘wrong’ shoes (I’m sure their stakes were similarly high… shoes > survival, after all).
Advertisers spend billions and billions of dollars annually— literally, the global marketing industry is expected to surpass $1 trillion in 2024— to understand what aisle displays make us pause and what advertisements we linger over for a split second longer on social media. And one of the oldest tricks in the book is this: Half price, today only. 📣 20% Off Everything ⭐ 4 more hours to SAVE! 🎉
And even though you know you don’t need another gadget, trinket, or ‘it’ toy of the season (let’s be real: you didn’t even know ‘it’ existed until 5 minutes ago), it feels hard to pass up what is supposedly a good deal.
We don’t want your advertising dollars
My Instagram has recently been spammed by dollhouses. In case you think this is an exaggeration, here is just a sampling of the relentless stalking I am being subjected to.
The description of some of these miniature wooden structures is nothing short of baffling. “A canvas for creativity, an imaginative launchpad, and a celebration of contemporary family living… tailored for the stylish, forward-thinking child,” WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN?! Equally important, how exactly are we envisioning ‘modern living’— more screens than people and feelings of existential dread, all wrapped up in a $300 dollhouse package? My kid is supposed to celebrate this, how, exactly? Throwing a party? Having little wooden guests visit her little wooden family in the ‘home office’? But enough about the dollhouses. What I think this reflects…
Except WAIT ONE MORE THING. What counts as a ‘stylish, forward-thinking child” anyway? Do you have to be one to buy the dollhouse (Apply Now to Buy!), or does the doll house magically make you one? Unclear.
Ok. Now I’m really done.
Researchers have found that a number of personal factors shape our resiliency in the face of advertisements. For example, individuals who experienced scarcity (such as food insecurity) in childhood are more likely to respond to aggressive marketing messages. This cookware has sold out 5 times. Get it before it’s gone!
Similarly, individuals with social anxiety may be more susceptible to materialism. It turns out, if you want any shred of protection against advertising, you have to have what researchers call a ‘high self-concept’— including a strong understanding of your core values.
But here’s the catch: The constant bombardment of advertising encourages competitive thinking, social comparison, and anxiety— the very things that increase materialism and convince people to buy.
The dollhouse copy illustrates this perfectly, because the implication is this: Buy this dollhouse and your kid will not only play by themselves long enough for you to drink your coffee while it’s still hot, but you’ll be ensuring your child’s social skills and therefore their very future— everything from pre-K admission to being a high school cheerleader to happily marrying and having a statistically average 1.6 children, all from this dollhouse.
Now imagine this, multiplied by the thousands of advertisements the average human sees on a daily basis. No wonder we feel like we’re on a hamster wheel of consumerism and comparison.
Love and “belonging” are needs, but we can’t buy them in a store.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if I could shop for my ideal friends on aisle 6 of Walmart, sandwiched right between the peanut butter and pickles? Or swipe my debit card to ‘earn’ my dream job?
Wouldn’t it be lovely if I could shop for my ideal friends on aisle 6 of Walmart, sandwiched right between the peanut butter and pickles?
It sounds ridiculous when we put it like that– but isn’t that exactly was advertisements are telling us to do, at least subconsciously? Society tells us we should purchase home goods, clothes, and cars to impress people we don’t even like. It convinces us that enough professional shoes and work bags will help us move up the corporate ladder. It tells us that we can swipe our credit cards for just the right clothing item to seduce our spouse, or just the right toy to show our affection to our children.
These kinds of messages are insidious, and seep into even pragmatic purchases. For example, you might very well ‘need’ a jacket (or, at least, some means of staying warm in the cold). But of the literally millions of jacket options on the market, chances are you aren’t just looking for one that will keep you warm. You are also looking for a jacket that will signal something about you– whether it’s your perceived financial success (by wearing a luxury brand), your outdoorsy nature (Patagonia or Columbia, anyone?), or your trendy commitment to 52+ fashion cycles in a year (I’m looking at you, SHEIN).
That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t consider various aspects of our purchases, including whether something reflects our ‘personal style.’ But it’s helpful to remember that I can’t buy my way into love, closer friendships, or professional success— but advertisers sure work hard to make it seem that way.
Likely as a result, constant exposure to advertising carries longer-term implications for our happiness. In fact, researchers examining nearly one million individuals across 27 countries over thirty years found this: The more advertising dollars spent in a country in a given year, the less happy its citizens were only a year or two later. But hey, at least these unhappy citizens were shopping for luxury watches and expensive home goods, right?
I’m not here to rain on your fake shopping holiday.
Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and the entire weird host of ‘cyber events’ creating an internet frenzy in the lead-up to the biggest shopping days of the year can be a great time to purchase things you’ve had your eye on for a while. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like you can’t get any ‘deals,’ because sometimes you can. So if you’ve been planning on upgrading your vacuum or buying a new piece of exercise equipment (that will absolutely not under no circumstances zero way end up as a clothes rack), sure, maybe now’s the time to buy. But just because something is ‘on sale’ doesn’t make it the right fit for you, your home, or your life.
And please know this: There is nothing you can buy with promo code “GOGOGO!” that will complete you. Most of us want some version of peace, love, and happiness for the holidays— and let me tell you, happiness isn’t found in Aisle 5.
Most of us want some version of peace, love, and happiness for the holidays— and let me tell you, happiness isn’t found in Aisle 5.
Before you make any purchases this week, there are a few questions you can ask yourself:
How do I see this item fitting into my home and my life? Do you already own things that could meet this need?
Is this item something that I need or love enough that I would be willing to buy it at full price?
What am I hoping that this item says about me? Is this meeting a need, or am I trying to virtue/ status signal with this purchase (ie., who do I hope will see it)? If your answer is that girl in high school who always hated me or my passive-aggressive co-worker, it’s theoretically possible that you just might should re-consider.
Do a quick Opportunity Cost calculation— Divide the cost of the item/ your or your household’s hourly wage. For example, if you make $30/ hour and you’re considering a $75 piece of clothing, is it worth 2.5 hours of your time? Of course, this figure doesn’t take into account the cost of cleaning, maintaining, and storing the item, or even the true production cost of the item itself, but it’s a start.
How long do you see yourself using this product for? What does its end-of-life look like?
Black Friday: A day to trample others to get more stuff a day after being thankful for the stuff we already have.
Of course, this Black Friday joke isn’t new. But with the Black Friday festivities pushing earlier into November, the annual shopping frenzy overshadows the whole family and gratitude and thankfulness thing. We don’t even have time to be thankful for what we have because we are buried under a barrage of advertisements for things we almost certainly don’t need and probably don’t even want. And if we aren’t careful, we will spend the entire holiday season responding to every advertisement that demands our attention NOW, when chances are, your loved ones want your PRESENCE more than any present under the tree.
So sure, get your holiday shopping done. But instead of dwelling on the relentless advertising noise, choose to re-write the consumption habits that contribute to the destruction of our planet. Choose connecting instead of scrolling. Choose people over things.