Hand-Me-Downs & Capsule Wardrobes for Kiddos

Ditching the overstuffed drawers and toddler meltdowns

A reader’s question on an Ask-Me-Anything struck a recent chord because, to be honest, it sounded EXACTLY like my family only a few years ago.

When my oldest was born, a neighbor kindly gifted us EIGHT boxes of clothing, size newborn to 18 months. I was so overwhelmed with the kindness— and the contents, which easily numbered in the hundreds of items, some gently used, others still new with tags. Sitting in a literal sea of baby clothes, I culled through and initially kept about half and passed the other half on through our local Buy Nothing group. But even this left us with overstuffed drawers, a full closet, and the Herculian task of trading the wardrobe out every few weeks with changing seasons and all-too-frequent growth spurts.

I learned quite a bit from that first year. We passed on another few hundred baby items, keeping only a small capsule wardrobe for our second kiddo, and I’ve changed my approach to hand-me-downs… and other clothes shopping!… since.

Dealing with kids’ hand me downs

One of the kindest and most thoughtful things friends and neighbors can do is pass on kids’ clothing to other parents— kids grow so quickly, and it’s no easy feat (for your brain power or your pocketbook!) to outfit kiddos for changing sizes and seasons.

And yet, it can be deeply overwhelming to become the sudden recipient of approximately 240 pieces of toddler clothing, with vague promises of ‘more to come.’ After stumbling my way through boxes upon boxes of hand-me-downs in my oldest’s infancy, here’s the system that works best for me:

• Commit to only a few brands. I’ve found that children’s clothing sizes vary widely by brand. Carter’s, for example, runs reasonably true to age in the younger years, while Children’s Place (which has a host of other problems) runs large and Burt’s Bees (at least the snug fitting infant kind) are built for tall but skinny-as-a-stick babies. It will make your head spin to try to compare sizes across all these brands to determine when your child will fit into what. Decide which brands work best for your personal style and values— as well as what fits your child— best, and pass on the rest.

• Create a ‘rough draft’ capsule wardrobe. If you are accepting hand-me-downs a few sizes ahead, it can be difficult to know exactly what your child will need, or even what size they will be in a given season. To handle this hand-me-down overwhelm, I ended up keeping 8 of everything in infancy— 8 short sleeve onesies, 8 long sleeve onesies, 8 pants, 8 sleepers, and a few dress up outfits. There was nothing terribly magical about the number 8, it just felt like a reasonable amount of time (for us, about 3 days) to go between laundry loads during that season. I kept a few extra outfits for toddlerhood initially to account for the extra wear and tear older kids put on their clothes (which definitely came in handy when my oldest managed to rip 3 pairs of leggings in one week!).

  It’s worth noting that the capsule wardrobe that made it into my child’s closet was smaller than this rough draft. I didn’t pull out the long sleeves during the summer, or short sleeves in the colder months. But when my freshly minted one year old was suddenly wearing 18m a season earlier than I had anticipated, I had the clothes to pull from.

  Don’t forget to set aside a few items outside this ‘rough draft’ capsule for diaper bag outfits and ‘spare-at-grandma’s/ daycare’ outfits in every size as well!

• ‘Pass’ on anything that’s too worn or too much hassle. It may take some trial and error, but try getting a handle on what counts as too fussy, especially for everyday wear. We didn’t like struggling with a dozen snaps for a middle of the night diaper change, and anything with lots of small buttons is a no-go for squirmy toddlers. Be realistic about what you’ll want to deal with, and pass the rest on. The same goes for clothing that is worn through or seriously stained— while I never stressed about a few small stains, if an item is in really poor condition, go ahead and recycle it (you can recycle all brands of baby and children’s clothing for free through a Terracycle program sponsored by Carter’s).

• Store clothes by size, not tag. If you are planning on handing down clothes between your kiddos, try storing them not based on the actual label, but based on the fit. Is there a random 4T t-shirt your oldest was wearing at the same time as a 2T jacket? Store them in the same bin so you can easily find everything next time around.

  I would also highly recommend finding a place to store these clothes that is reasonably accessible. Storing clothes in a musty basement or rarely-used attic not only adds wear and tear to the clothing, but increases the chance that you’ll forget about the box altogether. Under the bed, in an upper closet shelf, or in the laundry room are all places to consider instead of far-off attic or storage spaces.

Building a seasonal kids’ capsule

Your kiddo’s capsule wardrobe will depend on lots of factors: Your lifestyle, including uniform or daycare outfit needs; the weather patterns where you live; and your propensity for doing laundry frequently. We have a mostly casual wardrobe and I do laundry every few days, so our wardrobe doesn’t have to be as robust as someone without easy access to a washing machine.

The research is also pretty clear: The fewer choices a child has, the more equipped they are to make their own decisions. Just think about your own overwhelm staring at 42 types of body wash or ketchup in the store aisle (not just me? Thought so), and imagine a preschooler facing the same overwhelm every time they glance into their closet. Keeping a closet more minimal allows your little one to make their own clothing choices.

Here’s what’s in my kiddo’s wardrobes as we transition into fall. This wardrobe is actually a little more full than it will be further into winter, because the cool pre-fall mornings and constantly shifting weather means we are preparing to ping-pong between the ‘shorts and a t-shirt’ my girls have been living in and more cozy long-sleeve options.

For each girl: 4 pairs of leggings, 3-4 short sleeve shirts, 4 long sleeve shirts, 2 dresses, 2-3 sweatshirts and cardigans, 3 pajamas, 6 pairs underwear + 6 pairs of socks.

The girls' fall wardrobes, minus the clothing they were wearing (I didn't make them run around naked for the sake of the 'gram...), and a few items in the wash because... well, life.

Controversially, we only have one pair of sneakers for each kiddo— in the summer, we also have a pair of water shoes, and in the winter we will have a pair of snow boots for outdoor play, but just one ‘everyday’ wear. I assume this will change as they get older and have more clothing preferences, but it works for now!

When the weather is clearly just hot or cold, I remove out-of-season clothing from their drawers (and store them on an upper closet shelf) so I can avoid any meltdowns triggered by my toddler’s insistence on wearing a heavy sweatshirt in 90 degree heat. You may have noticed that we also commit to plain and mostly neutral colored leggings, so everything in their wardrobe can mix-and-match without my intervention.

For baby boy: 4 onesies, 4 pants, 4 sleepers/ other outfits. And, uh… that’s it.

With baby boy, we decided to go extra-minimal, because I know just how fast little ones grow out of their clothes! At this point, I do laundry every two days… if you do laundry less often, then a wardrobe this small is not feasible. But I know from experience with my two girls that the ‘8 of everything’ rule was actually more than we needed, so hopefully practice makes perfect this time around.

How I handle shopping for littles

I’ll be honest: This answer has fluctuated a lot over the past 4.5 years. I didn’t purchase a single outfit for my oldest in her first two years of life, and we used exclusively hand-me-downs (for which we are eternally grateful). For my second, her wardrobe was mostly hand-me-downs, with a few ‘matching’ sister outfits I purchased for the girls for pictures or other special occasions.

As the girls have gotten older and I’ve become more aware of the toxins in our clothing, I’ve gravitated towards more clothing purchases from organic brands. We still happily accept hand-me-downs… and definitely still use them for grandma and diaper bag outfits!… but caring loved ones know we are a little more picky on what we will take, and we pass quite a bit on through our local Buy Nothing group.

Even purchasing organic clothing doesn’t always mean purchasing new. Sites like Kidizen and Mercari have been great for secondhand items, and a host of other sites sell ‘rescued’ sustainable clothing from previous seasons at a fraction of retail cost.

Some minimalist families decide not to purchase ahead on anything, because it’s more hassle and more to store and what if your kid hates these clothes in 2 years?! I largely agree with these critiques, and yet I can’t help myself entirely. I tend to buy things that I anticipate will continue to be staples— like leggings I already know my preschooler likes— in the next size whenever I see a sale, and if the sale is really, really good (like, say, a $22 organic t-shirt from Colored Organics for $5, just hypothetically, of course) I might even buy a little more in advance. But I definitely would not purchase seasonal gear like snow boots or swimsuits in advance because that is setting your child up for a 3-sizes-up-growth spurt or other freak incident of nature that guarantees these items won’t fit when you need them.

It also helps to limit your shopping to just once or twice a season. I realistically know there will be sales around Labor Day and Black Friday (and, let’s face it, twelve other times between now and then), so I can fill in any wardrobe gaps without spending days searching. Much like with accepting hand-me-downs, try finding a few brands that work for your child and stick to them.