I recently shared a guide to more intentional spending. But when you’re struggling to change your spending habits, sometimes it helps to hit the reset button. And one of the best ways to hit the reset button is with a temporary shopping ban.
The point of a shopping ban is to change your relationship with spending and gain a better understanding of your shopping habits and triggers. Shopping, as with any other habit, happens on instinct— so your goal is to change your instincts around mindless consumerism. Giving up shopping temporarily doesn’t mean you can’t return to your old habits if you miss Shein hauls or Amazon binges— but I’m willing to bet you’ll appreciate the clarity on the other side.
Please know, I’m not advocating that you run out and begin a shopping ban this very minute. If nothing else, August is full of frenzied back to school preparations for parents, and the unfortunate arrival of pumpkin-spice everything to remind us that the last of our warm weather frivolity is coming to an end.
But now is a great time to start thinking about a shopping ban for September or October. If you’re considering a hard reset on your spending habits, here are just a few suggestions:
Set your intentions before you stop shopping
In other words, what’s the point of your shopping ban? Are you trying to save money, be more environmentally friendly, or waste less time in stores/ scrolling? If all of these motivate you, which ones stand out the most, and how can you track it?
For example, if you are motivated by saving money, try this tracker to get a better sense of your spending triggers and how much you’ve saved by not buying.
If you’re motivated by being more intentional with your time, consider comparing your screen time usage from before and after the shopping ban, or tracking how much extra time you’re devoting to family, hobbies, or a side hustle.
There are also a few seasons in life that I would never recommend an all-out shopping ban, for the simple reason that you would be setting yourself up to fail. Any BIG life transition, such as welcoming a new child or moving across the country is one of those times, as is any period of intense grief (such as the loss of a parent or in the immediate aftermath of a difficult breakup). During these times, your focus is understandably on survival. And while survival doesn’t require you swiping your card anywhere, there are times when a purchase will, in fact, make things easier. (I will forever maintain that a baby bouncer saved my family’s sanity in the newborn stage).
Be intentional about the length and terms of your shopping ban
Even if you’ve never considered yourself to be addicted to shopping, chances are that you’ll experience a withdrawal when you give it up. The reason for this is simple: Shopping, and all the micro-habits associated with it— from scrolling social media to eagerly checking for mail— provide your brain with dopamine. Dopamine is basically a feel-good chemical that’s that’s released when your brain expects a reward. Historically, this was a super-important neurological function for teaching our ancestors to forage, but now, this nifty brain trick is being used for slightly less survival-oriented pursuits— including over-consuming. When you imagine buying something and smile, dopamine. When you enter your payment information and click purchase, dopamine. When you see the Amazon package on your doorstep, more dopamine.
(And also, let’s be real. Checking the mailbox, even when I know for a fact it’s empty, is sometimes the only silent moment in my day with two toddlers— so yes, I love it. My husband even calls it my favorite chore.)
You want to quit shopping long enough to make a difference, but not so long you can’t commit to seeing it through. Ideally, the ban will last at least a few weeks— I’ve always found a month or two to be a sweet spot— to make it past the ‘withdrawal’ phase and let your brain adjust to a new equilibrium without shopping. While there are definite benefits to a longer-term shopping ban— say, 6 months to a year— start by committing to just a month or two to give yourself a ‘win.’
You also get to set the ‘rules’ and exclusions for your ban. The most typical shopping ban exception (if you have any) is to only purchase what you need to replace, whether it’s dish soap or sneakers. If you are responsible for other people’s possessions as well— for example, if your husband counts on you to buy his deodorant or you’re the one who finds the next-size-up clothes and shoes for your kiddos, take that into account as well. Your shopping ban will be more effective the fewer exceptions you make, but it’s not like you can predict your little one’s next growth spurt, so give yourself some wiggle room if need be.
Put some accountability in place
You want an accountability partner who will, in fact, hold you accountable. Pick the friend who will talk you out of buying the earrings or remind you that your toddler already has a full wardrobe, and ask them to do just that. If it’s your partner that you want holding you accountable, consider asking them to do the shopping ban with you— a partner who has free reign to spend while simultaneously telling you not to buy anything might cause just a teensy bit of resentment.
You can also seriously cut down on temptation with just a few hacks. Avoid any in-person shopping trips that encourage you to spend unnecessarily (Target is a big one for most people!) with curbside pick-up or grocery delivery. And to cut down on online shopping, delete apps from your home screen or place screen time limits for any app or website (here’s how to use screen time for iPhones, or for Androids). If you have an iPhone, the ClearSpace app is great at intercepting you from mindless scrolling or instinctive clicks.
Remove yourself from e-mail lists
Have you ever noticed how stores are practically always running sales? For some companies, 30-40% off is practically the norm. The super annoying thing about this is the potential for an inbox cluttered with ‘FINAL HOURS! Up to 30% off’ and ‘Don’t miss out: Sale EXTENDED 🎉 ⌛’ But the great thing about this is, chances are you can always stumble upon a sale, even without the e-mails.
So go ahead and click ‘unsubscribe’ on your least favorite marketers. Ideally, you’ll start this process a few weeks before your shopping ban— but don’t sweat it if it’s you’re ready to stop shopping but haven’t gotten around to the e-mails yet. And if you’re truly worried about missing out on coupons, try sending all promotional e-mails to a separate e-mail folder (or better yet, a separate e-mail address altogether) that you only check when you’ve identified a need.
(There’s also a case to be made that paying full price forces you to be more intentional with your resources— as the Minimalists point out, sales price is often the fool’s price. But I’m not about to knock paying less for something you would have bought anyway).
Prepare alternative ways to spend your time
If you’re mostly trying to avoid in-person shopping, then I’ll be honest: I’m not terribly concerned about you finding a way to fill your time. Go for a walk, declutter your home, read a book, take a nap. Enjoy your free time.
If you are prone to online shopping, though, you’ll need some different strategies. Here are just a few suggestions:
Whenever possible, leave your phone in another room, and set up screen time restrictions to limit your time online.
Have a plan for your phone time that doesn’t involve scrolling, such as reading an e-book or playing Wordle (does anyone still do that?).
If you’re prone to shopping as procrastination (particularly during your work day), try taking a break from your computer every time you think about opening an unrelated tab. Get some fresh air, grab a cup of coffee, or just take a few deep breaths.
And remember, too, to reward yourself during your shopping ban. Changing your habits— especially around something as deeply set as money— can be difficult. So build in some extra soul care for your journey.